he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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