Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
Randomize
