maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Randomize