What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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