i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Randomize
