I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
Randomize
