I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
Randomize
