chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
