Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
Randomize