Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Randomize
