he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize
