i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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