Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
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