Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
Randomize
