She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
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