I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
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