I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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