u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
Randomize
