Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
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