eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
