Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
I know her cup size but not her name....
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