you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
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