I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
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