Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
apparently i ate an entire bag of goldfish, kissed some guy with a girlfriend who now wants to kill me, made my sister sleep in my bed with me while i wore no pants, and told my whole family i am pregnant with jonny's devil baby...never drinking again
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
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