I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
I was born with a shot glass in my hand
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
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