When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
Randomize
