Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
Randomize
