everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Randomize
