I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
