p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
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