I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize
