i don't like sucking hair
So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
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