u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
I would ride that face into the sunset
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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