Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
i just woke up with two martini umbrellas taped to my nipples... idk how they got there
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
