your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
Randomize