wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
he puts the penis in happiness.
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
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