To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
Randomize
