I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
the highlight of my day was when my dad called me when I was watching porn and I muted it instead of pausing it.
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
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