dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
Couch. On fire.
Randomize
