GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
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