So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
