haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
Randomize
