we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
Randomize
