Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
Reggie can tackle my bush.
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
Randomize
