If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
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