no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
You want to complain about your sex life to me? Right now mine consists of trying to masturbate lightly enough not to wake her up with bed shakes. Go. Fuck. Yourself.
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
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