you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
I murdered the dance floor call the cops
Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
It's just like the Real World with babies
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
Are my feet made of real feet?
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Randomize
