what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
Randomize
