is your mom at the bar?
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
Dear Derek. I would like to offer my sincerest apology for the 2 to 6 text messages you are about to read. Also for the 15 minute voicemail, which may or may not have sent. Sincerely, Sober Katie
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
Randomize
