Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
Randomize
