Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
Randomize
