Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Randomize
