there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
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