Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize
