If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
Randomize
