I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
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