Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
Life update: This fucking MacBook repair guy called me over last night for a booty call and he didn’t have a condom OR a bed
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
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