The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
Randomize
