Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
Randomize
