He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
Randomize
