i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
