just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
Randomize
