So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
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