it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
