do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Randomize
