Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
Randomize
