her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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