I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Randomize
