Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
Randomize
