Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
Randomize
