We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
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